Send in the Clones

In the latter months of 2001, a Massachusetts biotech company announced that they had made some major breakthroughs in human cloning. I wrote the following song parody in response:

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Send in the Clones

- with profuse apologies to Stephen Sondheim

Inspired by an Associated Press wire story.
Dedicated to Advanced Cell Technology of Worchester, Mass.
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Why aren't we rich,
Duplicating human hair?
Xeroxed hearts, kidneys, and such,
God and ethics, who cares?
But where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones.

The pope, he did hiss.
Some in Congress approve,
Of making human stem cells,
In a sterile test tube.
But where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Send in the clones.

Hey there Ms. Donor,
eggs, we want yours.
Cumulus skin cell in your egg cell,
the DNA no longer yours.
Call it therapeutic my dear,
so you no longer care,
That it was part of you,
but is now just a spare.

Huxley's no longer a farce.
In less than a year,
We'll wear 'em down calling them names.
They'll back down from fear.
But where are the clones?
There ought to be clones.
Don't bother, they're here.

Now we'll get rich.
The Brave New World is here.
What a way to create,
a lucrative career?
But where are the clones?
There ought to be clones,
Just wait 'till next year.

© 2001 - RBW - permission granted only to reproduce parody
song in its entirety including song title and this statement.